


cant even catch a breath to scream

by yourelectriclove



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Ableist Language, Angry Isak, Angst, Literally so much angst, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Protective Isak, sanas pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:38:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourelectriclove/pseuds/yourelectriclove
Summary: the aftermath of those instagram posts, and Sana is filled with everything but happiness.





	cant even catch a breath to scream

 

**18:37**

**Vilde:** _omggg girls did you hear about that instagram account? The one Eva showed us? Well Even made it_

_**Eva:** bullshit_

**Chris:** _why_ _would Even make an account exposing one of the pepsi bitches? nei vilde_

 

_**Vilde:**  no its completely true, he's done it before, remember in bakka? He went crazy on Facebook, which is why he hasn't got it anymore, anyway he's obviously took a crazy turn again_

**Sana:** _what_ _is wrong with you Vilde_

_he's not crazy he has a mental illness he can't control sometimes_

_Shut the hell up before you speak it will benefit everyone believe me._

_**Chris:**  OUCH_

_**Noora:** sana.._

_**Vilde:** i was just saying what everyone else is saying?? Why are you being so mean?_

_**Eva:** okay let's not fight please girls, but sana is right vilde, gossiping about Even, especially when his boyfriend is one of my closest friends, lol that's fucked up and I won't defend you. _

_**Chris:** why are you blaming Even anyway? He doesn't even know sara, why would he want to get involved with girl drama_

_**Vilde:**  stop ganging up on me I literally did nothing wrong_

_**Sana:** Even didn't do it. _

_**Noora:** no shit Sana, and nobody is ganging up on you vilde_

_**Vilde:** But girls, isak is so angry, he nearly got expelled a few hours ago for trying to punch a guy for talking about Even _

_**Eva:** poor even :( he doesn't deserve this Whoever is behind that account makes me sick_

_**Chris:** didn't Isak date sara before he came out? _

_**Noora:** I wouldn't call it dating but yes why?_

_**Chris:** don't kill me for this but, what if Even found their old messages and got jealous or something? So he posted them _

_**Eva:** it just doesn't seem like Even would do that, their relationship seems pretty secure _

_**Chris:** everything seems perfect on the surface_

**Sana Bakkoush has left this chat.**

*****

Sana felt sick, her whole body was shaking, she knew where Isak's locker was, Even had forced her to help him find it way back when they weren't a couple, and she had been waiting by for for the last twenty or so minutes. He never showed up.

 The instagram page kept burning a fresh hole in her mind and pocket, she wondered if she should just delete it altogether, just try to make it dissappear, but gossip had spread like wildfire, the screen shot passed on from person to person until Sara had to leave and go home due to threats she had gotten, it had been a sweet taste of pleasure, but the pain and regret she felt at the moment felt like nothing she had ever felt before. 

_"do you know that Even guy? Yeah apparently he made that instagram account, I heard Vilde say he went crazy again"_

_"Those screenshots were posted by that gay crazy dude, he went batshit mad when he found his boyfriends old messages and well, you know the rest"_

_"He's crazy what do you expect"_

_"Poor Isak"_

_"Apparently he tried to kill himself, Sara has been telling everyone about Bakka, dude he's literally fucking crazy, Isak should leave him while he has the chance"_

 

The conversations Sana heard made her feel sick, she stayed away from lunch and sat in the library for an hour hoping and praying that it'll all go away, that everything would work out fine, that Isak wouldn't hate her, that Even didn't hear the rumours. 

But luck was never on her side.

  *

"Isak!" Her breath was short as she ran to keep up with Isak's longer strides towards the biology classroom, his hood was up and his head was down, he looked like he was texting on his phone, it also looked like he was ignoring her completely. 

He ignored her until he reached the biology classroom turning around to shoot her the deepest glare she'd ever seen, her heart stuttered and her hands started to sweat. This couldn't be happening, it couldn't.  

The classroom was empty, apart from Isak who had sat on top of the window ledge, his phone now pressed to his ear, and thankfully he had a smile on his face. 

"I'm skipping my last class, no, baby I'll walk over to your locker it's fine" She let out an audible sound of relief, Isak and Even were good, at least that was one thing she didn't destroy. Isak still wasn't looking, but he was smiling, just not at her. 

"love you more, okay, bye bye"  The phone call ended, and awkward silence fills the space, consuming every inch of the classroom. Isak begins to unpack his books slamming them down on the table alarmingly hard, his face was set in stone, a look Sana hadn't seen from him in so long. She wanted to clear her throat but a lump stuck there stopped her and she just looked, looked at Isak's tired frame and eyes, looked at his messy hair and shaky hands, looked at his eyes set downcast, pretending to read a textbook.

"Isak.." she plucked up the courage to say, her voice was small but Isak didn't even look.

"You know Sana, I don't give two fucks what you have to say, and I literally don't care" he looked up at her, and she felt like she was drowning on the air in her lungs, her whole heart stuttered, her whole body felt locked down to where she was standing. 

"You have to believe me Isak, I didn't expect this to happen" she tried to reason but all she gets in return was Isak's cold laugh and the loud slam of the textbook he was pretending to read as he slams it shut. 

"I can't believe I trusted you, I can't believe you used me, after everything I try to do for you, not that you even care or notice, why would you do that, why would throw Even under the bus like that?"  No, no, no this couldn't be happening, it can't be happening, it can't it can't it can't. She tried to open her mouth to say something but all she could do was swallow and try to not cry.

"Because of you, Even took a panic attack, because of your childish fucking games that  _my_ boyfriend got the blame of, Even doesn't want to show his face here any more, you are the most selfish, backstabbing, two faced person I've ever met in my life, so don't you dare play victim, I hope those screenshots were worth losing the only fucking person who still gave a shit about you" Isak was standing up almost shouting, starting to pack away the books he just unpacked and Sana, Sana feels like the ground is crashing down, her eyes are rimmed red and she's sniffing back the tears trying to tell Isak to please just listen, but he's not listening, he's not even looking.

 She finally let out a sob, her hand pressing to her mouth as Isak just scoffs brushing past her, he couldn't go, he couldn't.  "Please Isak, _please_ just listen to me-" Isak stopped shaking her hands off him, staring at her with his own shaky watery eyes. 

"I don't give a fuck about the screenshots, hell I would of sent them to you if you wanted them so bad, I'm angry because Even is being dragged into this, don't you think he deserves a break? The entire school now knows about bakka and his old friends, Do you know how many times I've almost got expelled this week from defending him? You fucked me over, you fucked Even over, and I'm sorry but I don't even want to look at you" 

Her heart was breaking, shattering into tiny pieces, her phone burning a hole in her pocket, her eyes running with salty tears, she hated this, she hated herself, she hated everything her own fucking jealousy and pettiness has caused.

Isak doesn't seem to care, he just coldly scoffs again his head shaking, his eyes finding Sana's own. "If there's one thing I hate, it's when someone fucks over their friends, especially if that friend is the only one who tries to understand them, and you know I always wondered why you're friends with someone like Vilde, but now I can see, and I really, really don't give a care about your half assed apology, you're not the person I thought you were, not by a mile"

He leaves, with one last stare and a cold shake of his head, the classroom door slamming behind him, and Sana can't do this.

She falls into the closest chair, her head in her hands trying to stop the tears and the sobs but they don't stop, Isak's right, he's right about everything, Even doesn't deserve this, Isak doesn't deserve this, she's a mess, a petty jealous mess, why did she let this consume her? Why did she let the hurt and pain take over? She pulls out her phone with shaky hands, slowly opening her messages, her thumbs shaking, her eyes glazed over with tears she can barely see. 

**the girlies**

**12:28**

**Sana:** _Even didn't make that instagram or post those screenshots,_ _i_ _did._   

 **Eva:**   _hold on, what the fuck_

  **Chris:**   _are you joking rn???_

**Noora:** _sana?? Why would_ _you even do that for?_  

  **Vilde:**   _wow sana_  

 **Sana Bakkoush left this chat.**  

* 

**12:43**

**Sana:** _I'm so sorry Isak, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry._

_*_

_"You're a good person Sana"_

_"You're not the person I thought you were, not by a mile"_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this and also on sanas actions!  
> What do you think will happen?


End file.
